


Chasing Ghosts

by Abyssinia



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-10-26
Updated: 2007-10-26
Packaged: 2017-10-09 00:22:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/80997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abyssinia/pseuds/Abyssinia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>To be honest, after adding getting-burned-to-death to the list of physical tortures she'd rather not know the sensation of, she deserved a little pampering, even if Daniel wouldn't help.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Chasing Ghosts

**Author's Note:**

> Written for sg1_by_hand prompt:  
> Primary Character(s): Vala Mal Doran  
> 'Ship to be Included: Daniel/Vala  
> Acceptable Humour/Fluff Level: The funnier the better  
> Prompt: Vala has heard about porn and after bribing Muscles to get her a copy she forces Daniel to watch for the cultural experience of a lifetime. She thought it'd be more of a laugh to see Daniel squirm, but she didn't expect to get so turned on.
> 
> Thanks to beanpot, zats_clear and vipersweb for the helpful betas. Set during "Ties that Bind" and mild spoilers for early season 9.

Vala flung herself onto the hotel bed, heaving a dramatic sigh that didn't draw even the smallest reaction from Daniel.

"I'm bored!" she announced. "Really, really, really, really…"

Finally, movement! Daniel got up from his chair, stalked to the other side of the room and sat on the floor, back against the door, without once looking up from his fascinating book about long-dead people who had left no treasure behind.

"…bored," she finished in disgust, rolling over onto her stomach to stare at him.

"I have other books if you want to read," he offered after five minutes of the staring treatment, still not tearing his eyes from all those words.

She was bored enough to almost consider accepting his not-so-gracious offer, but that would mean giving in. Daniel had to be the most infuriating man she'd ever met. And the most intriguing. It had been a long time since she'd been presented with such a challenge.

"I have a better idea," she announced. "Let's go out and do something. I'll even let you choose!"

"No."

"Come on, Daniel, you dragged me halfway across your planet. We're in your nation's capital – a city that is no doubt full of fascinating history and cultural experience you'd love to lecture me about. I'll even go to a museum with you," she offered, batting eyelashes he was still refusing to look at. On their way to the hotel they'd passed a sign advertising a museum of something called Natural History covered with pictures of what looked to be very valuable jewelry. Maybe she could get him to take her there.

"You know, when Landry said we had to go to Washington, I considered showing you around a little," he sighed. "But after what you pulled in today's hearing, we are staying right here until tomorrow's flight."

"And what is it that I did?" Vala put as much bewilderment into her voice as she could.

That finally got him to look away from the book, even if it was only to glare at her. "You made a fool of yourself and us. You insulted the Senator. After what you did, we'll be lucky to still have a Stargate Program next week!" he snapped.

"Oh, Daniel, it's not that bad. I know politicians, and I know what they want."

"And what is that?" Really, he was much too easy, even if he didn't actually sound curious.

"Power, sex, and money. Not always in that order. You want something from them, you just let them know what's on the table. Or let them think what they want is actually on the table." Because you only gave it to them if you ran out of other options.

Daniel just let out a snort and returned to his book, which only confirmed Vala's theory that leaders on Earth weren't as different from those in the rest of the galaxy as he'd like her to believe.

"Fine, then I'll just entertain myself."

"You're staying in this room," he snapped quickly.

"I know that. Wouldn't want you to pass out and hurt yourself," she retorted. To be honest, part of her wanted to just run outside – they both knew she could get by Daniel and out the door if she wanted – and she was pretty sure Daniel would follow her, since he didn't seem fond of the effects of the bracelets.

She watched him read a few more minutes, but while he might be attractive, she was beginning to understand the Tau'ri saying about watching paint dry. Finally she rolled off the bed to dig through her bag for the machine Teal'c had given her.

She was halfway through untangling the cords – if she could figure out how to fly their spaceships, she should be able to set up their entertainment devices – when he finally looked up and his voice betrayed a hint of curiosity. He'd probably insist it was dread. "What are you doing?"

"Entertaining myself. Right in this room. Isn't it obvious?"

"Did you steal that?" he asked, from behind her, peering down at the contraption she'd almost wired correctly.

"Now why would I bother stealing something like this?" she asked, holding up the cheap-feeling box. She waited just long enough for him to almost have a retort before adding, "When Teal'c gave it to me after I asked him about Tau'ri entertainment?"

"Did he give you any movies to go with it?" Daniel asked, sitting on the bed behind her. Just like a man – letting her do all the setup while he sat back to anticipate the rewards.

"Of course. He even helped me pick something out. I must say, Daniel, given how inhibited you seem to be, your people have developed some interesting entertainment." She smiled at his groan while she slid the last plug into place and slipped the shiny disc into the box. He'd never admit it, but he was curious. "And now, I think I hit this button…and this one."

Some animal roared on the screen, loud enough to shake the unattractive pictures hanging on the walls and causing Daniel to jump, shouting about finding a "remote." By the time he got the volume to more manageable levels, Vala had positioned herself on the bed so his lap could serve as a suitable pillow. She took the fact that he didn't immediately throw her off as evidence he was becoming trained.

Onscreen a woman walked into a room, dressed in a tight black and white dress with a remarkably short skirt. She carried a stick with a handful of feathers tied to the end and was rubbing it over various surfaces – possibly cleaning the room. After a minute she bent over to rub the feathers across the nose of the statue of a small animal, causing her skirt to lift high enough to reveal rather impressive undergarments which appeared to utilize very little fabric.

Vala felt Daniel's muscles stiffen under her cheek. "Teal'c gave you PORN?" he practically shouted.

"I believe he referred to it as an adult movie. He thought I would find it amusing," Vala explained, as a man walked onscreen. "Well, he has more muscles than you do."

"That's because he's a porn star. He isn't real," Daniel said, wiggling as though he wanted to get up. Vala snaked an arm behind him and latched onto his belt loop. He made a decent pillow, and it looked like Daniel was going to make this even more entertaining.

Daniel gave another half-hearted wiggle, scowled when he felt the pull where Vala had grabbed onto his pants, and then flopped onto his back instead. On the screen some mechanical-sounding music began playing, with a beat that went straight to Vala's groin. The girl had finally noticed the man and it appeared clothing might come off soon. This was more like it.

Only, this girl was very, very unskilled. That was not an effective way to try to seduce someone! At least she'd managed to get her shirt off. "Daniel," Vala coughed as the picture zoomed in on the girl's chest, "are we supposed to think those are real?"

Daniel rose up on his elbows to stare at the screen. "This stuff is all about fantasy fulfillment, not reality. Actually, human pornography has a tradition of artificially enhancing sex organs. It was easier before photography, when artists could simply draw bodies with exaggerated features. Now actors have to resort to surgery…"

"Daniel!" Vala put a finger to his lips. "You are not going to ruin my fun with your boring history."

Back onscreen the man was doing something creative with the feather-stick, causing the woman's skin to flush as she squirmed on the table he'd placed her on. This was supposed to be amusing, and mainly for the fun of making Daniel squirm, but despite the amateur show, Vala was beginning to feel like squirming a bit herself. It had been a long time after all.

When the man finally lowered his pants, Vala sputtered, sitting up for a better view. "Apparently you are the runt! Are all men on your planet that imposing?"

Daniel heaved a sigh and said tightly. "I told you, artificial enhancement."

"Oh, right." Daniel started to move, apparently thinking this was his chance to escape, so she dropped her head back down onto his lap, keeping a tighter grip on his belt. She could be imagining it, but she thought maybe his pants were a little tighter in an area that was possibly better-endowed than she let on.

After a few minutes the people on the screen began actual sex, with a remarkable lack of finesse. The man proved completely unimaginative, simply laying the woman on her back and driving into her. Despite the grunts and whimpers, Vala suspected she was just putting on a show, waiting for it to be over – why she didn't take matters into her own hands and make this better for them both, Vala couldn't fathom.

She looked up at Daniel, still propped up on his elbows, eyes locked on the screen. As much as he might pretend otherwise, sometimes he really could be just a typical male. Vala sighed, settling down to watch. This was supposed to be amusing, but instead it was becoming just sad. If the people on this planet were so lacking in imagination, it was no wonder Daniel was so stiff. In more ways than one, she thought, peering at him out of the corner of her eye.

Despite her disappointment, she was beginning to feel more than a little interested in the proceedings herself. Experimentally she squeezed her thighs together a few times, feeling the growing need to take care of herself, especially since Daniel seemed unlikely to be gentlemanly enough to assist.

Sneaking a quick glance upwards to ensure he was still focused on the screen, Vala carefully reached her free hand down to undo a button and slip inside the pants they'd given her. With two fingers she began rubbing in slow, even circles as the man onscreen finally decided to move into a different, and equally unimaginative, position.

A few minutes later the woman onscreen was badly acting through one of the fakest orgasms Vala had ever seen and the man, impressed with his apparent virility, began pounding harder, grunting to increase his manliness. Vala added a third finger, changing pressure and stroke, and closed her eyes, filtering out the bad sex onscreen and creating her own fantasy.

She was stuck in a boring room on a planet that could be interesting if only she had the chance to explore it. And, to be honest, after adding getting-burned-to-death to the list of physical tortures she'd rather not know the sensation of, she deserved a little pampering, even if Daniel wouldn't help. Daniel, who she liked more than she usually allowed herself to, and more than he probably believed.

She suspected he probably could use a release of his own just as much. When the Prior had brought her back from the darkness and she'd found herself in his (Harrid's) arms and seen the way he was looking at her, she'd seen more nakedness in his eyes than he could have wanted her to see. In his own way, he was just as desperate and lost and lonely as she was. But if he was too stubborn to admit it, she'd have to take care of herself.

So she took what she could get – bad porn and one arm latched onto his belt with the other in her pants and a fantasy playing out behind her eyelids – because if he was half as attentive with a lover as he was with his fascinating historical relics, he could blow the man on the screen out of the water.

Vala imagined him turning his head, looking down and finally seeing her. Instead of the shock, the outrage he'd probably give her, he'd offer a moment of stunned silence and then a hand reaching down to raise her head, fingers entangling in her hair as he kissed her, slow and gentle and sweet. And then she would shift, rising to her knees, carding her fingers through the thick hair on his head as she returned the kiss, possibly finally slipping a tongue between his lips. And then a slow, gentle seduction, a removal of clothing, and his entire world, that huge brain of his, focused only on her.

"What are you doing?" His question was a little too loud, a little too appalled, and her eyes flew open to see him staring at her, mouth twisted and forehead crossed with lines. Wrenching her hand away he stood up, letting her bounce back onto the bed. She pointedly looked at the bulge in his pants, now level with her eyes.

"Don't pretend you aren't just as interested," she snapped back before he stormed off to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

She sat in shock, staring at the screen where she locked eyes with the woman, the blank face of someone just waiting for things to be over. For a minute she felt more connected to this stranger onscreen than anyone she'd ever met. But then she heard sounds from the bathroom – the walls in this place were so thin they barely deserved the name. She scrambled for the remote Daniel had found earlier, pausing the screen as the man threw back his head in the victory of orgasm.

In the ensuing silence she could hear the harsh rasp of a zipper and, seconds later, the pull and slap of flesh, the harsh, open-mouthed breathing of someone straining to remain silent. So Daniel really could be just as human as he pretended not to be. Shame he was too repressed to share.

Settling back on the bed she closed her eyes again, imagined him crouched over her, really looking at her, really seeing the person before him. Imagined him examining every inch of flesh with eyes and fingers and mouth, working his way down until every nerve ending was sizzling and she had to reach up, wrap her arms around him, hold him tight for fear of ever losing this.

In the bathroom his breath came harsher - sharper, quicker pants that began ending in the smallest of whines. Vala let her free hand trace up her stomach and pushed a few fingers inside herself, pumping a few times before pulling back out, stroking harder for the release she knew was coming. Finally the bathroom went silent for a moment of held breath, all exhaled in a staccato whoosh of air and though she strained to hear what name might pass his lips, no words reached her ears. With a few more strokes, she pushed herself over the edge as he ran the faucet, imagining his fingers inside her, his mouth on her breasts. Her actual orgasm paled in comparison to the one she imagined, but it was all she would get, so it had to be enough.

By the time he came out her pants were buttoned, her hair combed out and she sat, straight-backed and cross-legged, watching a different movie on the screen. Strange animals, drawn by hand rather than photographed, danced across the screen, breaking into song. Teal'c had told her that though this was a movie meant for children, it told an inspiring story.

Without a word Daniel sat at the other end of the bed, book back in his hands, keeping a careful distance. Vala didn't bother looking to see whether he was looking at her.


End file.
